


who are you when you're not looking at me

by ElSolFlorecer



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 乐华七子NEXT | NEX7, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age of Adaline Fusion, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Fantasy elements, Immortality, Implied Cai Xukun/Wang Ziyi - Freeform, Implied Lin Yanjun/You Zhangjing, Multi, Non-Graphic Smut, Oral Sex, Past Relationship(s), Some graphic descriptions of injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:29:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26024245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElSolFlorecer/pseuds/ElSolFlorecer
Summary: His name is Zhu Zhengting - current alias Theo Zhu. Physically 29, emotionally 30, biologically 104 years old. And his life will forever be changed.Based from the movie Age of Adaline. You don't have to watch the movie to understand it. Kindly give it a read!
Relationships: Bi Wenjun/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Cai Xukun/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Huang Minghao | Justin & Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung/Original Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	who are you when you're not looking at me

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I have ever written a fanfic, please be kind LMFAO. This is my entry for the Wenjun Cute Fanfic Fest in Twitter. I might have made them OOC especially Wenjun. There might be historical inaccuracies, and the pacing is not great but please ignore it. ☺

**I.**

**_2019 - Manhattan, USA_ **

It all started on one cold day of December when everyone’s breaths were mingling, the time for warm cocoa and warm hugs, and constant contact with the nearest heater maybe in the form of a machine or a person. Everything seemed to be normal, from buildings, the noisy city, and the people on the crossroads. 

Except for that one man, with a mop of dark brown hair, holding his tall cup of cinnamon latte on one hand, and his phone on the other. He was definitely a head-turner. His eyes taking the color of the earthy ground, his envious eyeliner, his height, his fashion – everything. He seemed to blend in to the crowd so perfectly as if there will always be a spot for him there. Little did anybody know, he was more than a pretty face and his natural grace.

“Yes. Hmm. Okay. You know I could always go to you, instead. No, it won’t be a bother if it’s you. I know but I really feel bad. Alright, alright. I’ll wait for you, okay?” He smiled a beautiful smile, following a short but heavenly giggle. “...I love you, too, baby. I’ll see you soon.” He ended the call and pocketed his phone. He continued striding into the streets until it took him to where he wanted to go.

His name is Zhu Zhengting - current alias Theo Zhu. Physically 29, emotionally 30, biologically 104 years old. And his life will forever be changed.

**II.**

Zhengting knocked on the door. A young man wearing his pyjamas opened it only after a couple of seconds.

“You need to be quiet. My sister is sleeping. She just came home from her nightshift.” the boy, Zhengting assumed was in his late teens, supplied even when Zhengting didn’t even ask anything.

He followed the young man to his room. The typical bedroom of an unkept teenager, unfolded laundry everywhere, empty soda cans, posters of a popular Chinese celebrity. 

“I added a few color effects to make it look like your photo is somewhat faded,” the boy explained but Zhengting didn’t pay attention. “It’s a tip that I got from the internet. Then I printed the imperfections, added the electronic ships. They would never suspect this one is an imitation in a million years.” He added, while handing Zhengting a couple of IDs.

Zhengting checked it out, comparing the new ones from their ten year older versions. It’s perfect, like what the boy said. In return, Zhengting gave him a few hundred dollars which he accepted without any hesitation. “Thank you very much, Adam. Nice work.”

“If you have any friends who need the same service, you know where to contact me. It’ll really help me a lot.” the boy started talking again.

“Why are you doing this?” Zhengting suddenly asked.”You’re a smart kid, forgery is a crime. Two hundred fifty thousand dollars fine, six years in jail.” 

The boy halted. “Are- are you a cop?” Zhengting swore he saw how Adam’s face drained of color.

“I’m not, Fan Chengcheng.” Zhengting quickly responded. “I just hate to see wasted potential, that’s all.”

“It’s, um, it’s actually Adam.”

“The Jolin Tsai posters are signed to Fan Chengcheng.” Zhengting opened the door. “Don’t get sloppy, or else it’s the little things that will get you.”

With that, Zhengting left an astounded Chengcheng, silently hoping the boy would live a better life.

**III.**

He was working at the central library a few blocks away from the station. He has found his saving grace on books. They never cease on coming. And he has spent all his life reading as many as he can. They never get old. The older a book gets, the more it becomes precious. He loved the sight of the stacks towering his tall stature. He loved the musky, sepia scent of it, even the newly printed ones which have a milder kick in his senses that smelled of synthetic and a promise of new wisdom.

Zhengting will always be amazed by the fact that each one of them is only a combination of twenty-eight letters. Texts in all forms that tell people all they need to know. Stories of how things came from and how they came up to now. He trails a finger on one of the books on the history section, the spine is all worn out giving off its age. He was about to reach for it when a colleague called his name.

“Theo, there you are!” said by a raven haired man with his angelic voice, “...you remember the event that I’ve been telling you about?”

“The New Year’s party at the hotel?” Zhengting replied, “...how can I forget about that when you’re talking about it literally everyday, Zhangjing.” He continued as he walked at the library counter where Zhangjing is leaning.

“Yes, yes that! How can I not? That event is one of the rare moments that I get to see Yanjun in a suit!” he says, not even hiding the fantasy in his voice, “...anyways, I want you to go there, please. You don’t have the right to say no when you turned me down last year!” Zhangjing argued before Zhengting could even refuse.

“I told you, I’m sorry about that. But I did take you out on Valentine’s Day when you were crying your heart out because you can’t spend it with your beloved Professor Lin Yanjun.” Zhengting countered. He hasn't met Lin Yanjun himself but Zhengting was sure he was the subject of Zhangjing's dreams for he talks about this Professor Lin since the day they met. 

“I did not cry my heart out! You’re exaggerating. Also don’t distract me from the main point, you are going to the New Year’s party four days from now, in your best suit, you’re going to have fun with someone, then you’ll take them home.” Zhangjing said as he crossed his arms.

“Alright, alright.” Zhengting forfeited. “Also, I can have fun by myself especially without your company even if you’re the one who’s very pushy about me going.” He added as he was arranging a few books from the return section.

“Because I want you to meet someone! You won’t exactly talk to people if I’m there with you, don’t deny it! Also...” Zhangjing’s expression softens. “I can feel that you’re very lonely.”

Zhengting turned his head to face him. “That’s...”

“I get that there is something holding you back that you can’t tell me why, but I understand. I know this event will do you good, I promise. I want you to be happy, even just for a night, I don’t want to see that sadness in your eyes.” Zhangjing ended.

“Zhangjing...” Zhengting calls. He wants to cry with all honesty, confide in him because he seems like a person that would understand him. He knew Zhangjing is very observant, or it’s just Zhengting is too obvious. “Thank you, really.” He patted Zhangjing’s shoulder. “...I hope this time you can finally convince Professor Lin to make out with you in the hotel comfort room.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding, don’t worry. Though, I know that you are really asking for it.” Zhengting giggles.

“Please...” Zhangjing says as he narrows his eyes. “Ugh, anyways, we got a big deal coming up this week.”

“We’re getting new books, right?” Zhengting asked.

“Right, and hear me out, it’s going to be donated by a professor from Peking University. I think the books will be worth fifty thousand dollars.”

**IV.**

Carrying a bag of groceries, he fished out his keys out of his pocket. Zhengting opened the door to his humble flat. His place was very modest, with average space but enough for his dog to run around, minimalist furniture but with a certain aesthetic. There’s an unfinished sketch of a woman sitting beside the window, a wedding photo on the fireplace, and a typewriter resting on his coffee table. It wasn’t really homey, but he feels safe there. He turns the light on, finding his small French Bulldog running towards him, tail wagging so playfully, barking once like a greeting.

“There, there girl.” He calms his dog down, petting its head in the process. “How are you today, Wubaiwan?” The dog barks again as if conversing to him. Zhengting pets it some more before placing down his groceries on the table, starting on dinner.

He dines by himself, does everything by himself. When he gets lonely, he’d call his son on the other side of the country. Minghao, the love of his life, the only person living that can understand him as a human. He stands, gets the dishes done and prepares himself to bed after a long day.

Usually, he’d turn in early, but he thought of Zhangjing’s words earlier. It makes him feel tingly inside, the bad kind. Zhengting doesn’t like it because he is reminded how his world is crashing beneath his feet. Zhangjing is a great friend, it’s just that he feels bad. He feels bad about himself, and it shows, so obviously, that Zhangjing can pick it up.

Zhengting goes through his photo albums. Every memory that he had immortalized on printed paper. Every memory that he holds on to, right from the very start.

**V.**

**_1916 - Anhui, China_ **

It was a chilly night of 18th March, 1916 when Zhu Zhengting was born. The night was cozy and his family was at peace. His mother, a prim and proper Chinese woman who was a very skilled seamstress raised with an air of elegance, and his father, a wealthy man known for being a coal merchant where he got most of his appearances from. He was raised in a household that might be considered rich but not exactly influential. He lived a normal childhood, a normal adolescence, had a normal education that his parents can provide him.

He had a normal set of friends that he made on his university days. He had normal flings, a string of lovers (which his parents did not tolerate) that he managed to draw to him due to his insanely good looks, went on a lot of marriage meetings, until he met a woman that he can’t live without.

He was a normal 23 year old when he married his classmate, Huang Yijin. She was a lady all black hair dark as the night, brown eyes with full lashes, natural cherry lips, and a daughter of a well off military officer. She was the perfect wife than he can ever imagine. They shared a love so deep it puts history to shame. They were blessed with a son, Minghao, that is literally the carbon copy of him except that his lips are full like Yijin’s. He was their everything and Zhengting held them closest to his heart. 

Being a father changed Zhengting for the better. He learned to be more responsible and he always put Yijin and Minghao first. He took the initiative and asked his father if he can take over their coal mining business. His father was beyond delighted because Zhengting had never shown interest in it before.

Every single thing that Zhengting did was for his family. In three years time, he managed to run the business alone, and it was thriving. He built a home of their own, and had concrete plans about Minghao’s future. Yijin would help him sometimes, but Zhengting preferred for her to stay at home, rest, and look after their son for she is pregnant with their second child. 

“Zhu Zhengting, you and I studied the same thing. I am as capable as you. I know that I can do it,” Yijin insisted while unconsciously stroking her still flat stomach.

Zhengting shook his head while smiling as he walked towards his wife. “It’s scary when you call my name like that,” Zhengting kissed her forehead. “You are the most capable woman I have ever met, but I think now is not the right time for you to stress yourself out with something that I can handle by myself.” He rested a hand on her stomach lovingly. “Just focus on our daughter for now, Zhu-Yi-Jin,” he playfully enunciated every syllable of her name.

Yijin ran a hand on his hair slowly. “You’re ridiculous. What makes you so sure that we’ll have a daughter?”

He rested his forehead on hers, “I just know.”

**VI.**

Everything about him was normal until one night, Zhengting’s in-laws were massacred by the rivaling general that Yijin’s father had a dispute with for quite some time. Among the dead was the pregnant Yijin herself, who went home to visit her ailing mother, leaving Minghao to him at their home in Ma’anshan. 

Zhengting was sure that was the lowest moment of his life. He lost his wife and unborn child to murder, but considered Minghao, his then six year old son, his only lifeline. He reminded him of his beloved Yijin in so many ways that he made it through living. For the sake of their son, he will live.

Minghao had a hard time accepting that his mother was gone. He was still too young to be left without a mother. Zhengting tried his very best to fulfill that aspect in his life. He would make Minghao feel that he didn’t need to have a parent other than him. Losing Yijin was the worst thing that happened to their lives, but Zhengting knew someday, they would heal, and they could pick themselves up.

On the day Zhengting achieved justice for his wife’s death, he swore that he will never love the same way ever again.

Three years he mourned for his wife and three years later, his world began turning once more.

**VII.**

**_1943 - Anhui, China_ **

Zhengting was on his way home while maneuvering his automobile out of the deep woods from the site that he’d been when he noticed something was off. He saw the fluttering of white outside his window. It was snowing.

And he found it odd.

Because it’s in the middle of July.

It was impossible to snow at that time of the year when he swore they were in the middle of summer. But his thoughts still won’t stop the fact that snow is indeed falling all around him until he felt it was getting more real. It was already nighttime, and he can feel the roads getting slippery beneath his wheels. His headlights get weaker as the snow falls stronger, blurring his vision successfully.

And then, in slow motion, he noticed he was falling.

His car was rolling on the shallow cliff beside the unbounded road. His vision was running in circles and he felt pain in every part of him. The automobile’s window by his side broke. He used the last of his strength to get out of the car, shards of glass tearing his skin, but he’s already in so much pain that he can’t feel it. When he was expecting to land on the ground, he was met by water instead. 

Then he was drowning, completely short of breath that his lungs were literally aching for oxygen. His limbs were useless for he was wounded all over. His consciousness slipping to the numbness he is feeling.

After ten long seconds, he stopped breathing, and his heartbeat slowed down.

That was when the thought hit him.

‘Ah, this is the end.’ He finally closed his eyes, and let the water take him deeper in that lake.

Deeper and deeper until there was none.

It was exactly 11:21 in the evening when a lightning hit the vehicle he broke free from. It sent enormous amounts of electricity conducted in the water, and the effect on him was phenomenal.

The charge that his body absorbed went straight to his heart, awakening him from his previous unconscious state. He suddenly opened his eyes, the urge to swim on the surface came back to him like he suddenly had the power to do so. Zhengting tries, he fights, he kicks the water on his feet until it takes him to the surface. From there, his arms frantically parted the water around him until he felt it was getting shallower and shallower. He felt the land, and that’s when he stopped flailing his limbs, taking in deep inhales of air to fill his empty lungs until he turns weak by doing so.

Next thing he knew, everything around him turned black.

By year 2035, the von Lehman principle of DNA electronic compression will be discovered. This will explain why he was suddenly immune to the ravages of time.

At age 29, Zhu Zhengting will never age another day.

**VIII.**

**_1959 - Shanghai, China_ **

It was crowded at the gates of the university dorm. Lots of young men were saying goodbye to their parents and Minghao is not an exception. Zhengting was helping his son unload all his things from the car. “You know I can't go to you everytime you need me so you must try to be independent, alright?” Zhengting told Minghao.

"Yes, Diē. We’ve talked about this already.” Minghao whined as he was sorting his things. “That I am already twenty years old, that I need to---"

"That you need to behave at all times because I am not here to save you." Zhengting sighed. "Haohao, come here." 

Minghao approached him immediately. Zhengting ruffled his son's hair the best he could manage because Minghao is only 20 but he's almost as tall as him. He touched his son's face like he's trying to memorize what he looks like.

"If someone asks where I am, just tell them that I went to Peking alone and never came back. We won't be able to see each other for a very long time." Zhengting told him in a soft voice. "Next time you see me, I'll have a new identity. I will always be your father, you'll just have to introduce me as your friend." 

"Diē..." Minghao's voice was trembling from holding the tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

Zhengting was no better. His own throat refusing to swallow the lump that breaks his voice. "You have access to our funds, I'm sure it'll be enough for you to get settled here. Studies first, no girls until you graduate. Don't be picky with food but be picky with your friends. Do not look back but don't forget where you came from."

The tears Zhengting ever tried to stop finally fell, flowing freely from his eyes. He took something from his pocket and revealed it to Minghao.

"This necklace is your mother's." He hung it on Minghao's neck. "If you ever miss me or her, just know that we are close to your heart." Zhengting wiped the tears from his son's eyes. "From now on, use her name, not mine. You are now Huang Minghao and your life is your own."

Minghao hugged his father tightly, burying his face on his shoulder. "Diē..."

Zhengting held his son tighter. He ran his hand through his hair just like how he comforted him since he was a child. "I will always love you, Haohao. I will always love you."

To ensure the safety of his son and his own, Zhengting decided to part ways with Minghao. He vowed to move every decade, changing his name, residence, and appearance. 

Zhengting has long decided to get Minghao out of Anhui since he realized that something unexplainable has happened to his body. He left his business to his colleague who he trusted the most. He also sold their house in Ma'anshan, the home that he built with Yijin. His parents were long dead before they could notice that something was wrong with him.

There's nothing left for him to go back to, and he had no choice but to move forward. 

Two years after Zhengting left Minghao in Shanghai, he moved to Japan and entered Tokyo Medical University as an accountant. There, he took advantage of the university's resources to research his condition. 

He had read every book, every paper, to know what is going on beneath his own skin. There must be a study, there must be evidence, there must be a scientific explanation how come he has not aged a single day since 1943. 

But after a year of intensive study, he was hit by the unacceptable fact that there is no way to comprehend why his body ended up like this.

It’s like time stopped for him but the world kept on moving. He saw how it changed, saw how the wars ended and peace prevailed. He saw how every norm he believed in was broken. He saw how the people around him were born, lived, and died in the same zip code. 

But he never saw his own son’s life.

Minghao has sacrificed a lot of his years just to support Zhengting. He graduated from university without his father witnessing it. Zhengting knew he tried to live a normal life despite not having people to turn to. He made a career for himself in Shanghai, dated but never wed, until it was finally time for his retirement. He did all those without Zhengting asking him to. 

It was only until Minghao was sixty years old when they met again in Taiwan. Zhengting proposed for them to move to America so he can take care of his aging son, under the pretense that he is Minghao’s son. Minghao agreed but refused to live with Zhengting, still considering his father’s condition in mind. They compromised by sending Minghao to a beautiful retirement home in Arizona, while Zhengting lived in Oregon, visiting him as much as he can in a whole decade until it’s time for him to move again.

This has been their set up for the past twenty years. Witnessing how his son grew old each passing day made Zhengting wish he could catch up on the forty years that he missed.

For the first time in his long, long life, Zhengting wished he had more time despite having plenty.

**IX.**

**_2019 - New York City, USA_ **

An hour before midnight, Zhengting reached the venue. It was a fancy room at the topmost floor of the hotel. He is wearing his best set of black suit that fits his body nicely, the first three buttons of his white dress shirt are left open revealing a nice patch of his skin, and a pair of shiny leather shoes. One thing that Zhengting kept on doing all throughout the years he is alive is that he has to be fashionable always. He’s been alive for over ten decades and he is confident to say that he has never dressed bad.

He accepted the flute of champagne that the waiter offered him. He scanned the crowd to see if he could find Zhangjing but failed. He had the hunch that maybe he disappeared somewhere private with Professor Lin. He chuckled at the idea, he now has more stuff to tease Zhangjing with.

Zhengting found Linong instead. He is sitting by the piano while playing a slow jazz that sets the mood of the room. His singing sounded good despite his old age. Zhengting wants to brag that Linong’s singing sounded better in his early years. Linong is a fifty-one year old blind man who has a natural gift for music. Zhengting met him as a lounge singer in Taipei when Linong was only 32. 

The song ended and Zhengting initiated a clap. Everyone in the room followed. Linong smiled, and bowed to thank everyone. Zhengting walked towards him and guided him on an empty table nearby. 

“How come your voice has not changed even after twenty years?” Zhengting leaned on Linong’s ear as he spoke.

“Austin? You’re here!” Linong exclaimed. Zhengting smiled when he saw Linong’s unfocused eyes brighten up.

“I wouldn’t miss your performance for the world.” Zhengting replied.

“This is our what, seventh year of celebrating New Year’s together?”

“Yes, since you moved to this city.” Zhengting guided Linong’s hand to grab his drink.

He took a sip, “It’s my first time spending it here at this hotel though. Have you been here before?” 

As if on cue, Zhengting’s mind flashed random memories right before his eyes. The noise of the fireworks, the smell of tobacco on his suit, the bright flash of the bulky camera, the wideness of his smile. With a small grin, he answered “Only once, ages ago.”

Linong hummed as a reply. “New Year’s eve still feels like that one night where everything is possible, even as you age.” He drummed his fingers on the table. “What is your New Year’s resolution?”

“You go first.” Zhengting urged.

“Same as always, true love.” Linong answered faster than he could blink. “How about you?”

“To live this year like it’s my last.” Zhengting replied.

Linong smiled then said, “You may never know. We’re nearing that age after all.” They both laughed at that remark.

Zhengting lifted his gaze and saw a man walk into the room. Suddenly, everything was in slow motion. He swore Linong whispered something to his ear but he didn’t actually hear it. Tall, is the first thing that he noticed. Zhengting himself is not short but in this part of the city where most Chinese immigrants live, he rarely meets people who are taller than him. His hair is brown, a shade darker than his own, his eyes were the nicest pair he has ever seen, and has legs that seem to go on forever. The man might’ve felt he was being stared at so he looked around and found Zhengting looking at him.

Their gazes locked for what seemed like the longest four seconds of his life.

A woman appeared from behind, then tugged the man’s sleeve with the sweetest smile to catch his attention. He smiled back then she pressed a kiss on his cheek.

Zhengting looked away. 

The countdown started when Zhengting’s phone suddenly rang. He excused himself from Linong and strided to the lounge as fast as he could. At exactly 12AM, he picked up the call. 

“Happy new year, Diē.” The faint sound of Minghao’s voice on the line filled his ears despite the loud fireworks. Zhengting can feel himself tearing up.

“Happy new year, Haohao.” he replied in Mandarin as he tried his best to hide the sobs threatening to show on his voice. “You know you don’t have to do this every year. You must sleep early.”

“But I want to, Diē.” Zhengting can still hear how whiney Minghao’s voice can get even at age 81. “I want to be the first person to greet you every new year.”

“Alright, alright.” Zhengting resigned. “And I appreciate it everytime, okay? You should sleep now. It’s late. I’ll see you soon.”

“I can’t wait to see you, Diē. Good night.” 

“Good night, Haohao.” Zhengting ended the call. 

He was watching the fireworks by the window when he saw a man's reflection on it so he turned to face them. It was the tall man from earlier.

“Hi,” the man started. 

Now that he is up close, it is impossible to not notice how attractive this man is. Zhengting had to look up so he could converse with him properly. 

“Hello.” Zhengting nodded as he replied.

“Happy New Year.” the man greeted while never taking his eyes off Zhengting. If Zhengting would describe the man’s voice, it would be melodious. It’s like he is singing every word that he is saying.

Zhengting stared back just as much. “Happy New Year,” he answered. 

The man smiled. “There is this tradition here by Americans…” he started in Mandarin, “where if you’re alone on New Year’s, you must kiss the first person you encounter, and that will set the tone for the rest of your year.” 

_‘Very forward.’_ From experience, the best thing to get away with these types of men is to intimidate them first. If they think they came in strong, then Zhengting will come in stronger. It worked for him most of the time all thanks to his good looks.

“I am aware. I find it thoughtful but completely unnecessary." Zhengting pocketed his phone as he stepped closer to the other. 

"I find it romantic. Starting the year with a potential romance, I think it's actually a great idea. Would you like to try it out? See how it goes?" The man replied as he crossed the remaining distance between them.

"Why would I do that?” Zhengting asked with a smirk, and actually leaned closer. He saw how the man’s eyes widened slightly as if he can’t believe Zhengting is flirting back.

“Because…” the man swallowed audibly, and Zhengting pulled him closer by his black tie, “you are alone, and I am the first person you encountered.”

Zhengting hummed in response. He slowly continued to lean in that he could feel the man’s breath on his face. 

With their lips merely at a centimeter apart, Zhengting let out a soft laugh. He pulled away then fixed the man’s tie while shaking his head lightly. He gave his shoulder a pat before he reached his hand out and said, “Good night…” Zhengting tilted his head.

The man took his hand, “Bi Wenjun.”

“Good night, Wenjun. Have a great year.” Zhengting shook his hand before he went straight to the elevator which he entered almost immediately.

Before the doors closed, a hand suddenly made its way between it followed by a voice that hissed slightly. Zhengting is startled. The doors opened and revealed Wenjun in front of him, clutching his own arm. Zhengting scooted to the side to make room for him. Wenjun stood beside him then the lift descended.

“That’s a risky move,” Zhengting started.

“What is?” Wenjun asked, as he was nursing his poor limb. “Not introducing yourself before leaving me like that?”

Zhengting grinned. “No, putting your hand on places where it doesn’t belong.”

“It’s…” Wenjun clenched his hand once more before putting it in his pocket, “right where it’s supposed to be.” 

Wenjun started humming a random melody as if trying to fill the silence between them. It sounded nice, Zhengting would give him that.

“You actually followed me.” Zhengting said.

Wenjun turned to look at him. “Well, since I didn’t get the kiss then I decided to just spend the next 27 floors with you.”

The bell dinged and the doors opened. Zhengting claimed his coat and Wenjun still followed him through the hotel’s exit, until he reached the taxi bay.

He stood there beside him clearly shivering from the chill of the winter while rubbing his hands in futile effort to keep himself warm.

“Good night.” Zhengting said once more in a firmer tone as he wore his winter coat.

“I’ll just wait here with you until you catch a ride.”

“Thank you but I can manage,” Zhengting answered, “and besides, it would be rude for your date if you leave her for a long time.”

Wenjun suddenly chuckled, as if he can’t believe what he just heard. “What? What date?” he asked.

“Tall woman in a black Givenchy? Quite the beauty if you’d ask me.”

“Hah,” Wenjun scoffed, “I’d pass the praises to her, that is if her wife would let her hear it.” He crossed his arms and asked in an amused tone, “So you thought that I came here with a date, hm.” 

The heavens must’ve loved him because a yellow taxi had stopped for him, and he wasted no time by getting in. He planned not to exchange another word with this Wenjun. Zhengting actually felt relieved when the cab started moving until a hand sneaked on the taxi’s half-open window, causing the driver to hit the brakes.

Wenjun appeared in front of him once more while clutching his hand. “Ouch, that one really hurt,” Zhengting heard him say.

“There you go again, putting your hand on places where it doesn’t belong,” he urged.

Wenjun leaned on the cab’s window, as if trying to get a better glimpse of Zhengting’s face before parting. “How do we get in touch?” he said in a sincere voice.

Zhengting looked at him with a relaxed expression and flashed him a small smile. “Happy New Year, Bi Wenjun,” he told him, then rolled the windows up. The cab then started to move.

“Where to, sir?” the driver asked.

“To Chinatown please,” Zhengting replied.

“There is heavy traffic in the market area because it’s New Year’s and all that.” the driver warned.

“Kindly take a detour on Howard then,” Zhengting proposed.

“There’s construction on Howard right now, I am afraid it’s not passable.”

“Ah, if that’s the case take Broome, then turn right to Grand, from Grand turn left to Baxter, you can leave me at the market.” 

The driver turned to face him with a stunned expression. “You want my job?”

Zhengting smiled, “You’ll never know.”

**X.**

**_2020 - Manhattan, USA_ **

Zhengting sat quietly on his table beside the window. This is the first time this year that he will see Minghao. The next one will be on his birthday in March, then another on Thanksgiving, the last one being on Christmas. They meet four times every year since they lived in the same country. It’s almost like a tradition. 

Then he saw him enter the restaurant. Minghao was walking slowly as he was greeted by the receptionist and was led to his reservation. As he was walking towards him, Zhengting looked at his son’s approaching figure. His hair is all white, the wrinkles on his face were very prominent, but the brightness of his eyes were still the same since he was that boy he left in Shanghai. Even at eighty one, Minghao’s back is still straight, can walk without a cane to support him, and he’s not wearing glasses. He took care of his body well due to Zhengting’s insistence.

Zhengting vaguely wondered if this is how’d he look like if he grew old.

He stood up to embrace his son tightly. “Happy New Year, Diē,” Minghao whispered to his ear.

“Happy New Year, Haohao,” he said as he pressed a kiss on his forehead.

As they sat, their food was immediately served, and they happily shared the meal together.

“When will you move?” Minghao initiated the conversation.

“Around last week of February,” Zhengting replied as he took a bite of his dumpling. 

“After my birthday.”

“After your birthday.”

“Actually, “ Minghao stopped eating, there’s hesitation on his voice. “I was thinking… of moving myself. There’s this retirement home in North Carolina that Wang Linkai told me about. He said that was the best place he’s ever been in his life.”

That made Zhengting look at him. “But you love where you live.”

Minghao wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Yes, but there’s just too many stairs.” Zhengting just stared at him, urging him to continue. “Last week, Dong Yanlei fell and broke his hip. The doctors said he might not be able to get out of the hospital.”

“The reason why I’m moving to a closer state next to yours is because, maybe then you can come in for longer visits.” He took a sip of his drink. “Move in with me eventually.”

Minghao made a face at him that made him look like he can’t believe what he just heard. He raised an eyebrow and said, “We haven’t lived together since I was in high school.”

Zhengting’s expression softened, “I want to take care of you.” He reached across the table to hold his hand. He can feel the fragility of it under his thumb. “You’re not getting any younger. What if something happens to you in North Carolina and I’m not there? What if you got sick?”

His son held his hand more firmly. “Then, I’ll hope that you’ll come to take care of me.”

“What if I’m too late?”

Minghao pulled his hand back. “No, let’s not do this now. It’s New Year’s. You shouldn’t start your year by being gloomy.” He started eating again.

Zhengting did not say a word after that.

**XI.**

The first thing he saw when he clocked in for work was Zhangjing looking at him with an amused face.

“Good morning.” Zhengting greeted, and it didn’t wipe the expression off of Zhangjing’s face.

“Good morning, my dear Theo. How was your New Year’s?” the shorter one asked in a playful tone.

“It was fine. How about you?” Zhengting walked a step closer to Zhangjing, making him take a step back. “How was _your_ New Year’s?” he said, taunting Zhangjing to answer. “I tried to find you, but I did not see you anywhere. Did you finally get it on with Professor Lin?”

The mention of Lin Yanjun’s name made Zhangjing blush, and Zhengting tried to hold his laugh. He had half the mind to think that maybe they did more than making out in the hotel comfort room.

“It- it was good. Great even. But- but this isn’t about me, okay? This is about you.” Zhangjing tried to reason out.

Amused, Zhengting raised an eyebrow. “Oh-kay. I assume I’ll be ditched as the Valentine's date this year. Good for you, Zhangjing. Good for you.” He patted the other’s shoulder before sorting the card catalogues.

Before Zhangjing can even argue, their supervisor Mr. Zhang, announced that the books donated by the professor from Peking University will come today, and the said professor will deliver it himself.

“It was all first edition prints of some in demand English and Chinese literature reference books. Please have them organized later,” he instructed.

Then a tall man appeared by the door. The sight of him made Zhengting want to hide.

“Oh, no.” Zhengting whispered to himself.

“Theo, kindly assist Professor Bi to the office. The director will come in soon,” Mr. Zhang said.

In front of him, was the very same man who he almost kissed three nights ago looking absolutely nothing like what he was that evening. He looked professional and academic this time.

“So, Theo, huh?” is the first thing that Wenjun told him.

“Yes, my name is Theo. This way, Professor Bi.” Zhengting started walking towards the office.

Wenjun followed him, and kept looking at him with a shit eating grin. “Wenjun is fine, just like that night.”

The librarian started preparing the documents in front of him. “You could have mentioned that in the elevator. That you were a respected academician.” 

“Academician is such a crazy title, I think I’m more of a musician myself since I like doing that more. I just teach English Lit in Beijing sometimes.” Wenjun sat on one of the vacant seats. “But if we met in a taller building, I could have told you that.”

Zhengting can’t believe his ears. “Right, so just wait for the director to come in. He’ll be here in a few moments.” 

“Wait!” He was about to leave when Wenjun called him. “I have something for you. I got you flowers.” But Zhengting saw him get something in his messenger bag. “Here.”

In Zhengting’s hands are three hardbound books, all new, looking fresh from print.

“Daisy Miller by Henry James, Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury, White Oleander by Janet Fitch.” He looked at Wenjun, trying to fight a smile. “Very clever. Thank you very much.”

“I don’t know about you but I’m ready to do some donating.”

“Great. I’ll be here.”

“Yeah, and I want you to receive the books on behalf of the library,” Wenjun told him.

Zhengting freezed, “You mean on the program later? I’m sorry but I don’t like having my photo taken.” 

"Don't worry, you look great."

“It’s not about how I look. I just... “ he looked away. “I just don’t like having my photo taken, that’s all,” Zhengting argued.

“If that’s the case, then I have an idea. Let me take you out later.” Wenjun did not surrender that easily.

“That’s impossible.” he quickly replied.

Wenjun blinked a few times like he was processing how he got rejected twice in less than two minutes. "Oh, okay." He pulled a long face, not actually hiding his disappointment.

_'_ _That's kind of cute.'_

Before Zhengting could think, his traitor mouth started moving. "Where?"

In an instant, he saw how Wenjun's face brightened up.

"Some place you've never been before." 

"If it's in this city, then that's unlikely."

"Try me," Wenjun said with confidence.

**XII.**

Just after sunset, Wenjun brought him to a carnival nearby. Zhengting is confused because he's been in this part of the city before, many times at that. The thing is, there wasn’t a carnival before. It looks like it is not opened for the public yet, but here they are strolling in the middle of it as if they owned the entire place.

Wenjun seemed to know the caretaker. He heard him ask “Is the thing there already, sir?” The old white man, who he assumed was the caretaker just nodded, and let them in without asking anything.

Zhengting looked around. There are food counters lined up on both his left and right. The game stalls are much on the further end, filled with all kinds of overpriced toys and prizes. Across it was the merry-go-round lit up with warm colors. Everything is basically ready to accept people, except there are only the two of them and some stall owners doing last minute finishes. It reminded him of the carnival he had been way back in the 60s.

What captured Zhengting’s attention the most was the ginormous ferris wheel. It was littered with white lights making it the brightest attraction in that carnival. On the foot of it was a piano.

 _‘A piano?’_ Zhengting tilted his head.

“I give up. I’ve never been here.” He told Wenjun who smiled at him.

“You’re up for a surprise then.” 

Wenjun went straight to the piano. Zhengting watched him from a couple of feet away. He sat on the seat, rested his foot on the pedals, closed his eyes, breathed once, then positioned his fingers on the bars.

The mood around him suddenly changed.

The first press on the keys broke the silence of their surroundings. The sound resonated in that empty space. Then around Wenjun, more lights were lit up in dim white.

It’s like he’s in his own world.

“Years later as we get older, we forget everything.

But I only remember the moments with you,” he started to sing.

The sight of it made Zhengting’s heart jump. He thought Wenjun was musically inclined when he hummed on the elevator, but he never expected for him to be this…majestic. He never thought that this forward man would be this tender when he’s at his best. Between the darkness of the night and the brightness of the white lights, Zhengting’s eyes only focused on Wenjun. Everything around him was blurry, and Wenjun is the only thing that he can see.

He felt warm all over as if it wasn’t cold enough this winter evening. He thought how his senses can be this overwhelmed by one person. How is it that the sight of Wenjun can make his insides melt? How can the sound of his voice fill his mind? How can he have this much effect on him?

Zhengting hugged himself when he realized that he’s probably attracted to this Wenjun more than he’d like to admit.

The song ended, and Wenjun walked towards his direction only stopping in front of him. 

He’s so close, so close that it made Zhengting’s heart race. He hoped that Wenjun won’t hear how loud his heart was pounding inside his chest. He lifted Zhengting’s face up with his chin resting on his thumb. He brushed the bangs away from Zhengting’s eyes. In return, Zhengting looked at Wenjun’s bright eyes made brighter by the lights surrounding them. Wenjun cupped his face as he leaned closer and Zhengting is lost on how soft everything is.

“I will always remember.” Wenjun told him the last line of his song.

Zhengting brought his face closer, like there was an unknown but strong force pushing him to do so until they met each other in the middle. When he closed his eyes, their lips touched in what seemed like the softest kiss to ever exist. It was a firm press on each other’s mouth - a really simple gesture but Zhengting felt everything all at once. 

His heart ached at how good it made him feel.

His hand gripped the side of Wenjun’s coat tighter, pressing his lips to his in what seemed like an invitation to move them against his own. Wenjun caught on pretty quickly for he moved his hands on Zhengting’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Zhengting angled his head as he wrapped his arms on Wenjun’s neck. The smooth glide of their lips on each other is doing things on Zhengting’s mind. 

Wenjun is all over him and he just wanted to be there forever.

Out of the blue, his mind once again flashed random memories of a man sitting on a playground bench, how he was holding a black velvet box on his hands, how nervous he looked.

How Zhengting ran away.

This made Zhengting break the kiss, letting Wenjun go in the process.

“Theo…”

He can’t even look at Wenjun’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” Zhengting whispered in a soft tone.

He turned his back, and walked away with his heart and mind on rampage.

**XIII.**

Zhengting’s flat was covered in empty boxes. He started packing his belongings while Wubaiwan continued to play beside him. He scratched her belly once then moved to pack his stacks and stacks of photo albums. He grabbed the one that he knew was his collection of pet’s images.

He opened it and it revealed numerous photographs of the very same dog breed that he has been taking care of throughout the years. They were all gray French bulldogs like Wubaiwan is. Wubaiwan, ever the curious dog, went to Zhengting and sniffed the photos on his hand. 

“Look here, girl. This is your great-great-great-great grandmother. She’s very active and very charming. Like you.” he playfully told her. “When we move to the farm house, there will be vast lands where you can run as fast as you can. You can’t be picky with food, though.” he said as he pet her head.

His eyes landed on the “flowers” that Wenjun gave him. At the thought of him, he unconsciously moistened his lips, as if trying to savor the remains of the kiss they shared two nights ago. After Zhengting left him at the carnival, Wenjun tried to contact him, but all his calls went straight to voicemail. Zhengting thought that ignoring him was his best option. That he will eventually give up, that he will eventually forget.

Here is the thing, Zhu Zhengting has long accepted that for as long as he lives, romance will never be an option for him. It was automatically crossed out on things that he could do. Staying with someone, and being in love with them will never do him any good. 

Falling in love, for him, means being each other’s half until the rest of their lives.

Zhu Zhengting can’t give that. Zhu Zhengting can’t have that.

He has long moved on since Yijin. She will always be his greatest love, and she will also be the best memory. Sure enough, he has been involved in a lot of people but not long enough to call it a relationship.

Except for that one time.

Meeting Bi Wenjun was nothing extraordinary. As years go by, Zhengting is bound to meet a lot of people. He thought that Bi Wenjun will just be another person who will remember the name Theo Zhu, and Zhengting will completely forget about him once he starts using another name to live another life.

He thought wrong.

The first time he saw Bi Wenjun at the party, something inside him suddenly clicked - which doesn’t happen all the time. It’s like his body, mind, and soul are calling his name, telling him “He’s the one.” Of course, he ignored it. He didn’t pay attention to it. He was willing to let it go and move on until Wenjun showed up in the library that day.

Zhengting doesn’t want to think too much about it. Kissing Wenjun once was the end of it. He didn’t need to start anything he can’t finish.

He continued to pack the rest of the photo albums on their respective boxes. At the end of the stack, there’s a lone black and white photograph of a man in the middle of the woods. He picked it up then flipped it finding the signature behind. 

_‘CXK.’_

He has learned his lesson.

**XIV.**

Work was uneventful that day. For some reason, Zhengting felt lonely and not even Zhangjing can’t lift his mood up. He zoned out quite a few times and felt lethargic. Zhangjing, the ever observant fellow, just consoled him in ways he knows and Zhengting will forever appreciate him.

On his way home, as he was taking the sidewalk to his apartment, Zhengting saw how a familiar tall man stuck out like a sore thumb in the crowd around him. He was leaning on a lamp post with one hand on his pocket and the other spinning two meridian balls on his palm. 

Zhengting was torn between wanting to see him and not wanting to see him. His heart is abnormally yearning for him but his mind knows how to say no. 

And of course, Zhengting always uses his mind. That’s the reason why he has not met any trouble for this long.

Wenjun caught sight of him and called his name. “Theo!” He almost ran towards him.

“Why are you here?” Zhengting asked in a sharp tone. “How did you know my address?”

Wenjun looked away. “You Zhangjing,” was only what he said.

Zhengting narrowed his eyes at the mention of the name. He breathed in deeply. “There’s a reason why I don’t give out my address. You should’ve waited for me to call you.” He walked past Wenjun.

“Look I…” Wenjun caught his arm in an attempt to make him listen. “I don’t know what else to do.”

Zhengting turned to face him. For some reason, he feels like crying. His eyes are teary and he knows Wenjun can see it. 

He’s just so confused. Since Wenjun came to his life, his inner being just wants to stay with him when that is not possible. It will never be possible. It’s been so long since someone came in his life and turned it upside down. He felt like the decades he spent moving on from his previous lover, and how he was affected in many ways, were all wasted.

When he sees Wenjun, he wants to let his guard down and rest. But Zhengting knows, Zhengting understands that is not an option. He is bound to run away for the rest of his life. 

A lone tear escapes Zhengting’s eye. “Wenjun, this isn’t going to work. I’m moving,” he told him as he snatched his arm back, walking back to his home.

Wenjun ran a hand on his face harshly. He stood there looking defeated.

When Zhengting reached his unit, he saw a small basket of dandelions by his door. He took it inside, along it was a card. He opened it and it revealed Wenjun’s contact number and address; under it was a quote.

_‘Let me feel tired, now, let me feel tired. I mustn't forget, I'm alive, I know I'm alive, I mustn't forget it tonight or tomorrow or the day after that.’ - Dandelion Wine, Ray Bradbury_

The tears that Zhengting were holding back since earlier flowed freely out of his eyes. His quiet apartment was filled with the sounds of his silent gasps and heavy breaths. He leaned back and his weight was caught by his door. His legs gave out and his body slid down, wanting to rest. He clasped his hands on his mouth to silence himself but he’s almost choking on not having enough air and having enough of everything. 

His dog came to comfort him. He hugged her and whispered. “It’s okay, girl. I am okay.”

**XV.**

In the end, Zhengting still agreed on Minghao’s proposition of moving to North Carolina. Growing up, Minghao isn't really the type of child that always asks something for him. Even as he grew old, he brought that attitude and Zhengting thinks he's too good to be his son. This moving of retiring homes was one of the rare chances that Minghao asked something of him. And who is he to refuse that. As Minghao's years were decreasing, Zhengting decided he would put him first before anything else.

So here they are in Minghao's retirement home twenty minutes away from Zhengting's residence. He was busy organizing the boxes while Minghao was doing the best he can to help him. 

Zhengting found Minghao's own photo album. He sat on the couch as he scanned it. There were different pictures of him in the different stages of his life that Zhengting wished he was a part of. 

"I see I'm not the only one getting sentimental." Minghao sat beside him. 

"You lived a great life." Zhengting replied, still looking at the photos.

Minghao flipped a page and pointed at a certain photo. It was him and Zhengting outside their home in Ma'anshan.

"That was the last photo I had with you. I was a senior in high school." 

"I wish I was there for more of it."

"Diē, you've been alone for more than three parts of your entire existence. Aren't you tired of being alone?" Minghao suddenly asked. 

"Haohao, there never was a day where I thought I wasn't tired. Sometimes, I just want to stop." Zhengting told him.

"Then stop. You don't have to share that burden alone." Minghao held his hand. "You don't have to spend your life running away. Don't you miss having someone to come home to? Don't you miss having someone to love?" 

Wenjun suddenly flashed on his mind.

"It's just difficult if there's no future."

"What do you mean? All you have are futures." Minghao made a face.

"I mean a future together. Growing old together and all that." Zhengting lightly squeezed his hand.

Minghao just shook his head. "If I had your looks and energy, I will find love as fast as I can." 

Zhengting bit the inside of his cheek. "I did meet someone. On the New Years." Zhengting saw how his son's face brightened up. "But don't get your hopes up. I told him to leave me alone because I'm moving," he protested.

"What? You're moving to Reading, not Timbuktu!" Minghao exclaimed.

Zhengting took a deep sigh. "I'm a bad person, Haohao. I keep lying to good people." He looked at his son in the eyes. "I keep doing cruel things to them when all they've given me is kindness."

"Diē, tell him you're sorry. Tell him that you didn't mean it." He said in a comforting tone. "If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for me." Minghao somehow pleaded. “Please give yourself a chance.” He held Zhengting in his arms.

He hugged his son tighter. Zhengting can’t bring himself to say anything.

**XVI.**

Zhengting arrived on the building an hour later. Upon entrance, he went straight to the receptionist for inquiry.

"Good evening, I am here for Bi Wenjun. He's not expecting me." The woman by the desk was quick to pick up the phone then dialled the number. She asked, "And you are?"

"Incredibly sorry."

The receptionist stared at him for a few seconds. "I believe you have a name, sir?"

"Oh, um. Theo Zhu." he quickly replied.

She talked on the phone some more then typed something on her computer. 

"Mr. Bi's unit is on the 11th floor, number 1118. The elevator is on the left," she instructed.

"Thank you very much." 

Throughout the entire elevator ride, Zhengting wondered if he should go back and just hope that things will turn out well in the end. By well, he meant Wenjun not contacting him anymore and he will move to Reading peacefully with Wubaiwan. Convince Minghao to live with him there for another 10 years, then he'll move again. Same old same old. 

Deep inside him, he knew _well_ is not what he wanted.

1116… 1117…

He stopped in front of a door, the numbers 1118 staring at him. His grip on the bouquet of daisies that he was holding tightened. He contemplated whether he should ring the doorbell or knock or just go home.

He willed himself to do this. He prepared for it mentally and emotionally after Minghao encouraged him to. Minghao was right. He needs to apologize, needs to ask him if he's willing to try things out again despite the fact that he rejected him for a grand total of four times, needs him to understand that being in a relationship is a huge deal for him.

All these went through his mind a million of times so yes he's going to ring that doorbell.

But before he could even press it, the door opened and it revealed a handsome man with silver hair. He has wide eyes and a slender frame. He's probably as tall as him and he looked equally surprised as Zhengting is.

When he recovered from his shock, the handsome man peeked his head inside the unit and shouted "Wenjun, you have a visitor!"

The Taiwanese accent was thick, Zhengting thought. He could hear Wenjun's faint "Coming!" from the inside. 

The handsome man stayed by the door until Wenjun came. And there he was in front of him. He hasn't seen Wenjun in a week and true enough, his heart is immediately filled with warmth.

Except the handsome man was staring at him with an intrigued face.

"Theo, you're here." Wenjun greeted seemingly stunned. 

"Yeah I'm… I was wondering if we could talk?" 

The stranger raised an eyebrow, “Theo?” he said to himself. He then turned towards Wenjun and actually leaned towards his ear. The man then whispered loud enough for Zhengting to hear, "I had fun tonight." He pecked Wenjun's cheek. Wenjun actually froze, then the man stared at Zhengting once more with a taunting grin before he walked away. 

"Y-yanjun!" Wenjun called him but the man just sent him a wink then headed straight to the elevator. 

Something inside Zhengting snapped. The warmth that he is feeling earlier was suddenly replaced by an ugly, unexplainable, burning anger. He hasn’t felt anything like this for the longest time. And that’s coming from him who has lived for more than ten decades.

Wenjun came to his life and flipped his world upside down. Wenjun who so boldly entered his space and never left. Wenjun who did the simplest of things but sent Zhengting’s heart and mind to flames. Wenjun has made him question his reason quite a few times and this time, he cannot hold back anymore. 

"Theo, it's not hmp---"

Zhengting pulled Wenjun down by the collar of his shirt then kissed him like he meant it. Hard enough that Wenjun stumbled back to the inside of his apartment, almost losing balance. Zhengting threw the bouquet of daisies by his side and pushed Wenjun inside his flat, while his lips were still locked on his.

Wenjun is actually kissing him back, trying to gain control of the kiss by wrapping his arms around Zhengting's slender waist. He pushed Zhengting against the door with a little strength as he closed it shut. The impact made Zhengting open his mouth to yelp in pain but Wenjun sneakily inserted his tongue in Zhengting's. The feeling of their tongues touching each other draw a moan from Zhengting spilling between their lips. 

Zhengting wrapped his arms on Wenjun's neck, his hands running on the taller man's hair in a slow, sensual manner. He then angled his head to give Wenjun more access which he immediately obliged. 

Zhengting was elated. His mind is spinning at the idea of Wenjun kissing him torridly against his door. It was all _'Finally, finally'_ in the inside of his head, like the thing that he wanted the most finally came to him. He kissed Wenjun with the same eagerness, the same fervor, and the same heat trying to make his feelings come across. That he wanted this, and he hoped Wenjun wanted it just as much. 

He wanted more. He wanted everything. He wanted _more more more_.

But Wenjun broke the kiss and left Zhengting panting with his eyes dark, and his cheeks flushed. His hold on Zhengting never loosened.

"Theo, listen to me. Yanjun, he's-"

Zhengting shook his head and tried to shut him up by placing his index finger on Wenjun's lips. "Don't say his name, please." 

Wenjun grabbed his hand then intertwined their fingers together. "Yanjun, he's Lin Yanjun. You Zhangjing's boyfriend? You know him. He's my best friend." Wenjun explained. 

Zhengting looked at him in disbelief. His head slumped on Wenjun’s shoulder as if trying to hide his embarrassment. He embraced Wenjun and breathed in deeply.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” Zhengting said, his voice muffled.

Wenjun just caressed his head. “It’s alright.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s- it’s not just about Lin Yanjun.” Zhengting lifted his head and met Wenjun’s eyes, still not letting go of him. “My… my life has been unbelievable for as long as I can remember. And I was just really emotional the last time you saw me. That time at the carnival, it was marvelous and I was so moved but I was also terrified. You are just so amazing and so kind and I felt like I don’t deserve any of it.”

“What are you afraid of?” Wenjun rested his forehead on Zhengting’s.

“Everything.” Zhengting whispered on Wenjun’s lips. He held Wenjun’s face between his hands. “Tell me something I can hold on to, and never let go.”

In a hushed tone, Wenjun answered “Let go.”

Then they were kissing again with the same intensity as earlier. The only difference was that Zhengting’s mind is much clearer, and like a storm cloud disappearing in the calmness of the sea. He pressed his body closer to Wenjun and he was once again resting against the front door. Wenjun’s lips pressed a kiss to his mouth once, then one under his ear, then he went further down on his jaw, until he reached his neck. Zhengting can feel him licking his skin before he felt a strong suck causing him to moan out loud. Wenjun’s hand found the end of Zhengting’s shirt then slowly padded his palm on his torso, tracing the lines of Zhengting’s abs. 

The action made Zhengting throw his head back. Wenjun’s mouth started moving once more, now on his Adam’s apple, lightly biting it before sucking on it as well. Zhengting arched his body, his hips meeting Wenjun’s, unconsciously grinding on it. A loud gasp escaped Wenjun’s mouth as he lifted Zhengting’s leg wrapping it on his waist. The shorter one continued grinding on his crotch as he kissed Wenjun’s mouth once again. Zhengting wrapped his other leg on the taller’s waist, his weight being supported by the door and Wenjun’s hands under his thighs. 

Next thing Zhengting realized was Wenjun carrying him inside his apartment, to his room, until his back met the soft sheets of Wenjun’s bed. His senses were immediately assaulted with everything smelling like Wenjun. Wenjun hovered on top of him, his hands on either side of his head. 

Zhengting is weak.

He stared at Wenjun’s eyes and all he could think about was how he didn’t deserve anything of this. He felt like he was being completed piece by piece, from the inside out. The dust that clouded his mind for the longest time finally settling. Wenjun’s eyes were dark from the dimness of his room and by the lust rushing in their veins. 

He kissed Wenjun once again, on his lips, on his neck. He gripped Wenjun’s shirt and pulled it over the taller man’s head. Wenjun had to break the kiss so Zhengting could remove his clothes. He did the same to the older man. Zhengting wasted no time making his teeth acquainted with the skin of Wenjun’s neck. Wenjun’s hand was on his nape, making him stay there. His gasps and heavy breaths encouraging Zhengting to continue. 

Wenjun laid Zhengting back on his pillows and looked at him as if he can eat him alive. Zhengting’s face is flushed pink from all the lip locking they have done. His lips wet with his spit. The beginnings of a hickey on his neck. The low dip on his collar bones. The dusky color of his nipples. The hard line of his abs. The frailness of his waist. The sharpness of his hips. 

He ran his thumb on Zhengting’s lower lip. “You are so beautiful.”

Tears started to drown Zhengting’s eyes but before they could fall, Wenjun kissed them away. Zhengting just held onto him tighter.

This time, he decided, he will not let go anymore.

**XVII.**

It was warm under Wenjun’s sheets but the naked body beside Zhengting is so much warmer. His head is resting on Wenjun’s arm, spooning him. His forehead is still a bit sweaty from their activities earlier, but Wenjun kissed it nonetheless. He played with the strands of Zhengting’s hair and he has never felt so much peace in his life.

“Tell me something about yourself.” Zhengting started.

“Well for starters, I have met you before.” 

Zhengting turned his head to look at him. “When?”

“Last spring, Yanjun and I went to the library to discuss the book donation. After the board meeting, I saw you sitting on the library’s outdoor staircase. You were wearing a green shirt, and I thought you were blind because you’re looking straight ahead but your fingers are moving on a book.” Wenjun explained.

Zhengting chuckled at the memory. “I think I remember that day. How long did you watch me?”

“Long enough to think you’re not actually blind.” Wenjun traced the shell of his ear. “I don’t know when or how, but I knew I needed to meet you again. I just didn’t expect to see you on that event in the New Year’s. So I approached you, and talked to you, and made myself look like an idiot.”

Zhengting nuzzled on Wenjun’s neck. “Are you always that forward to everyone you meet at parties?” He teasingly asked.

“No, not at all.” Wenjun quickly replied. “That was the first time in my thirty two years of existence that I did something like that. Yanjun was with me that time, he’s the one who encouraged me to approach you.” He caressed Zhengting’s cheek. “He’s also the one who taught me about telling you that shitty New Year’s eve folklore.” He shook his head.

“Should I thank Lin Yanjun, then?” 

“Maybe I should. The idea of donating to the library was actually his. He wanted to keep going to the library so he’ll always have reasons to see You Zhangjing. He just dragged me along and I thought it was cool so why not. On the day we were supposed to sign the contract, he said he wanted his name to be pulled out from it, and credit everything to me. I asked him why and the only thing that he told me was because he already got together with You Zhangjing.” He explained, not hiding his amusement.

Zhengting lifted himself up and sat on Wenjun’s waist. “I know I asked but something about you talking about another man while I’m naked on your bed doesn’t sit right with me.” He planted a kiss on Wenjun’s mouth. He could feel how Wenjun grabbed his hips to pull him closer. The kiss ended with a wet sound echoing in the silence of the room.

“Sorry, I can’t help that he was there for the most of it. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have talked to you that evening, I wouldn’t have written you a song, you wouldn’t kiss me by my doorstep,” he grabbed Zhengting’s hand and kissed it. “And you wouldn’t be here with me.”

Zhengting looked at him lovingly. “You made me a song? The one you sang at the carnival?” 

“Yes, that’s the one.”

He laid on Wenjun’s chest. “Was that Yanjun’s idea too?”

“No, the whole carnival stint was all on me.”

Zhengting kissed his chin. “I’m sorry I ruined that day.”

“It’s fine, you can make it up to me.”

“How?” Zhengting eagerly asked.

“Spend your future with me.” Wenjun supplied.

“Wenjun, that’s-”

Wenjun smiled at him. “I’m not talking about the distant future. I’m talking about next weekend.”

Zhengting almost sighed in relief. “What do you have in mind?” 

“It’s my parents' 40th wedding anniversary, they will be throwing a party at my uncle's house. It’s three hours from here by car. Come with me?” Wenjun looked at him with expectant eyes.

Zhengting gave him a small smile then kissed his mouth once more. “Only if I’ll drive.”

**XVIII.**

Wenjun was riding shotgun as Zhengting took over the wheels for what seemed like the shortest three hours of Wenjun’s life. He talked about his family, and how he is probably the most filial person Zhengting ever met.

“I am actually adopted. My parents were one of those couples who cannot bear a child of their own, and they aren’t really that well off to fund IVF. They adopted me and another kid from the same orphanage who became my brother. When we were younger, they would work themselves to the bone to provide for us.” Wenjun shared.

“How old were you when you got adopted?” Zhengting asked, never taking his eyes on the road.

“I think I was around nine years old, while Zeren was six. Since our adoptive parents are workaholic, they left us most of the time to our uncle. You can say that Uncle was the one who raised us. He is more involved to us more than our parents were. Don’t get me wrong, my folks weren’t bad, they were working hard for us after all.” 

Zhengting slowed the car down when they met a red light. He reached out one hand to hold Wenjun’s, his other maneuvering the steering wheel. His lover squeezed his hand in return.

“Your family sounds wonderful.” Zhengting thought if he’ll ever have that again.

“Yeah. It was kind of hard when they went to China for work, though. They left us with Uncle here in America. Other than that time, I think Zeren and I didn’t really have it bad. We’re lucky that we got adopted by good people.” Wenjun ran his thumb on Zhengting’s knuckles. “How about you?”

Zhengting looked at him before pulling his hand back to shift gears. “I, um, I own a dog.” Wenjun looked at him, as if telling that he’s listening and he wants him to continue. “I was born on March 18 at Anhui. I like reading and silence, that's why I took up a job in the library.” Zhengting ended hoping that he wouldn’t ask anything more.

He likes Wenjun for sure, but does he like him enough to tell him his life secret? In this lifetime, only Minghao knows that he is somewhat an immortal. He was not really fond of the term. It makes him sound like he’s some sort of a mystical creature and not human when he’s exactly only that. He’s only human, strong on his strengths and weak on his weaknesses. No matter how much time passes, he’s only human and nothing more.

“You know you can tell me anything and I would absolutely believe you.” Wenjun replied as if he knew all along. He spared him a glance. “I know almost nothing about you,” he ended.

 _‘It’s better off this way.’_ Zhengting wanted to answer but he didn’t before he could say words he’ll regret afterwards. 

The vehicle was filled with silence and the sound of the pop music spilling from the radio. Wenjun leaned on the headrest, while looking at the changing scenery behind the tinted windows. He noticed Zhengting was taking a different direction and next thing he knew, they were parked in an empty parking lot. Zhengting turned the engine off then removed his seatbelt.

“Theo, were still half an hour away from the neighborhood.” He saw Zhengting tried his very best to cross from the driver’s seat to Wenjun’s until he comfortably sat on Wenjun’s lap. The fellow on his thighs unlocked his seatbelt then reclined the car seat. 

“Oh.” Wenjun finally caught up on what’s happening. He rested a hand on Zhengting’s waist. “Okay.”

Zhengting covered his mouth with his.

**XIX.**

"Do me a favor and pull over on that man, please." Wenjun pointed at a person outside.

Zhengting just continued driving. "I'd rather not. Getting mugged is the last thing I wanted."

"Ah, he's my brother."

"Oh." Zhengting immediately stepped on the brakes, then shifted the car in reverse until they stopped on a man busy scrolling on his phone.

He slid the windows down. "Zeren," Wenjun called his name to catch his attention. "Hop in."

"Ge!" Zeren exclaimed, they bumped each other’s first before Zeren moved to sit on the back. 

“Theo, this is Zeren.” 

Zhengting looked at him by the rearview mirror. “Nice to meet you.” He nodded in response.

Zeren cleared his throat, then turned to his brother, “So, he’s the new one.” Wenjun just shook his head. The younger then looked at Zhengting. “Have you done him yet?”

Zhengting can’t help but laugh. With his eyes never leaving the dim roads he answered, “Twenty minutes ago, right where you’re sitting.”

**XX.**

_**2020 - Ithaca, USA** _

"Ma, Ba, we're home!" Wenjun greeted.

Wenjun’s childhood home was actually a fancy cottage situated inside the woods. It was already nighttime when they arrived. When they reached inside, they were immediately greeted by a short woman with the brightest smile who turned out to be Wenjun and Zeren’s mother. Their father shortly followed after who ushered them to the living room.

It seemed like this weekend was the first time Wenjun was home in six years. He hadn’t found the time to visit while he was juggling between being an assistant professor in Beijing and producing music for different personalities in China and Singapore. 

Zhengting heard a voice of an old man inside the kitchen. “Oh, did I just hear Wenjun?”

“Yes, Uncle! I’m home!” Wenjun shouted back. 

Then the man who was Wenjun’s uncle appeared from behind, heading straight to give Wenjun a hug. “You’re finally here. Your height is still giving me a lot of trouble hugging you.”

Wenjun patted the older man’s back gently. “Six years, Uncle. Six whole years.” The man broke the embrace and turned to Zhengting. Zhengting in turn, saw how the eyes of Wenjun’s uncle slowly widen upon seeing him. He tilted his head in confusion. 

Wenjun wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Hey, this is my uncle, Cai Xukun.” Wenjun faced his uncle once more. “Uncle, this is---”

“Zhengting.” 

Zhengting inhaled sharply. He hasn't heard anyone call him with that name since fifty years ago.

The memory of a man waiting for him on a playground bench once again came to him. How he held the small box in his hand. How he kept bouncing his leg in nervousness. 

How Zhengting left as fast as he could. 

_"I think you're very reckless."_

_"I think you're very lovely."_

_"What is your name?"_

_"Cai Xukun. How about you?"_

_"Zhu Zhengting."_

"It's Theo, actually." He reached his hand out to Xukun, "Nice to meet you."

The old man took his hand. "Likewise." Xukun still stared at him, with his mouth slightly ajar like he just saw a ghost. Disbelief written all over his face. "I’m sorry but it’s just that you look exactly like this old friend of mine. He was named Zhu Zhengting."

Zhengting's eyes were teary, and everyone in that room could totally notice it. His heart was hammering in his chest and he wanted nothing but to get out of this place.

"He's- he's my father," Zhengting lied. The words tasted bitter in his mouth. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from crying.

“For real?” Xukun asked once more.

“Yes,” Zhengting faked a smile. “Did you know him?” 

Xukun smiled like he was trying to reminisce every single second he spent with him. “Yeah, we’re very close. I knew him in San Francisco.”

Zhengting pretended to be surprised. “Yes, he lived there in the 60s before he moved to Anhui and met my mother.” 

Wenjun exclaimed, “What a small world, really.” Zhengting smiled at him.

Xukun slightly chuckled. “The resemblance is amazing. Everyone who knew him must’ve told you that.” 

“For as long as I can remember.”

“How is he? Is he well?”

For a whole second, Zhengting didn’t know how to answer. The heaviness of the tears on his eyes are not helping him either. “He passed away six years ago.”

Zhengting swore he saw hurt flash on Xukun’s face. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Zhengting reassured him. He then glanced at Wenjun like he was asking to take him away. 

“Uncle, it’s really nice to see you again. Theo and I are kind of exhausted. We’d like to turn in now, if that’s okay.” Wenjun told his uncle. 

“Sure, sure. Don’t let me keep you.” Wenjun and Zhengting bid him a good night before heading upstairs.

The 74-year-old Cai Xukun sat there on the sofa, reminiscing the summer he spent with Zhu Zhengting.

**XXI.**

**_1967 - San Francisco, USA_ **

Four minutes before midnight, Zhengting was still sitting on the stool by the bar counter. His necktie was loosened, the first two buttons of his dress shirt was opened, and his coat was resting behind him. He was nursing what seemed like his fourth glass of whiskey when another one was placed in front of him by the bartender.

“I didn’t order this.” Zhengting told the man who just pointed at the far end of the counter. Zhengting turned to look at the person staring at him. He had to squint to see his face due to the bar’s dim lights. The jazz playing in the background was slowly fading on his ears. The already slow evening becoming slower, the quiet bar becoming quieter. 

The first thing that caught Zhengting’s attention was the man’s bottom lip. It was unbelievably pouty and plump. Zhengting stared at those for quite some time before his mind could register the rest of his face. The warm lights of the bar somehow made his eyes look like pools of honey. His hair is as black as his necktie. The suspenders hugging his body accentuated how slender his waist is.

The man stood up and walked towards him. The sound of his shoes echoing in his ears. The sight of how his legs stretched to make every step immediately occupied his mind. Zhengting can’t help but bite his lip in anticipation. He stopped in front of Zhengting and leaned too close to his face.

Zhengting was delighted.

“Do you wanna feel a bit dangerous?” the man asked.

Zhengting moistened his lips. “I’m a daredevil.”

The man grinned. 

Zhengting never knew how but he’s now cooped up in the narrow stall in the men’s comfort room with his pants down while feeling almost high. The head between his thighs is slowly moving up and down in a rhythm that makes him go crazy. He tangled his fingers on the man’s hair as if trying to encourage him to never stop. He bit his own hand to prevent his moans from escaping.

He was just daydreaming about that man’s lips twenty minutes ago but now it’s wrapped tightly around his dick, sliding in a way that makes him lose his mind. The hands on the back of his thighs gripped the skin there harder. It made Zhengting arc his body to preserve whatever strength he has left to keep himself from coming. It was all futile when the man tongued the slit on the head of his cock. He pulled on the man’s hair harder . “I’m- coming…” Zhengting whispered.

The wet sensation disappeared and was replaced by a warm hand instead. The man jerking him off was still on his knees with his mouth open. After five thrusts, Zhengting came. He saw how the white of his semen stained the pink of the man’s tongue. The sight of it made him feel hotter than ever. The man’s Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed Zhengting’s come and that was the last straw. 

Zhengting lifted the man to stand, and he kissed him square in his mouth. He could taste himself in the other. The kiss was all tongue and spit and produced indecent sounds but Zhengting savored every single bit of it. He bit the lower lip that he has been thinking about since he saw him. This made the man gasp loudly and the sound went straight to his crotch. They parted after three long minutes of intense kissing to fill their lungs with oxygen. Only then Zhengting had the chance to look at the man’s face up close. He pressed one more kiss to the other’s lips before he spoke.

“I think you’re very reckless,” Zhengting started.

“I think you’re very lovely,” the man replied and it made Zhengting smirk.

“What’s your name?”

“Cai Xukun. How about you?” the man asked back as he tried to fix Zhengting’s pants.

Then Zhengting did something he swore he will never do.

“Zhu Zhengting,” he said in a hushed tone.

Cai Xukun stroked Zhengting’s cheek with the back of his hand. 

“Pretty name.” He leaned closer to his face. “So Zhu Zhengting, do you wanna get out of here?”

Zhengting only nodded.

**XXII.**

They would spend five weeks together in San Francisco. And in that short time, Zhengting knew about Cai Xukun’s life faster than anyone he met before.

He learned that Cai Xukun is in his second year in med school at age 26. A full scholar at that. He's taking up typing jobs as a sideline. He went to the US just to study medicine so he can inherit the chains of hospitals that his family runs in China.

He also learned that Cai Xukun could be the person who he can trust the most. 

Cai Xukun was a strong force, and Zhengting was too weak to counter it. Like a storm that came to water his lonely island. It was disastrous but Zhengting would not have it any other way. He was like a change of pace that Zhengting thought he needed. In the past twenty years, he has not been with anyone who can actually see him. Xukun didn’t need to know his secret, but Zhengting knows he is worth it. All these Zhengting risked when he told him his real name.

Since that night at the bar, Zhengting and Xukun met many times after that to the point that Zhengting frequented Xukun’s apartment more than his. Zhengting decided he likes this. He likes having someone by his side when he wakes up, someone who can take away all his fears, someone who can actually make him feel complete.

Twenty years have already passed since the last time he’s been in a relationship. And the one thing he swore he would do once he met someone who can accept him, is to live in the present. The future frightens him. Twenty years of not aging made him fear the unknown. 

From here on out, he wouldn’t do anything that he is scared of.

Their very first trip was in Mariposa County. Zhengting has never been in Yosemite before, and Xukun is more than willing to take him on a short trek. Xukun was carrying all their stuff while Zhengting was only holding a camera. It was safe to say that Zhengting’s breath was taken away by how picturesque everything is.

“Kunkun, stand there.” He pointed on a spot under the giant sequoia trees. “I’ll take a picture of you.” 

“You take too many pictures.” Xukun complained but obliged nevertheless. He stood there in the middle of the humongous trees around him. Zhengting can't help but stare first. The sight of a beautiful man with a beautiful background was making his insides tingle. Only then he captured the photograph like a professional.

“Of course, how will you remember these moments that happened today if not from those printed papers? They’ll help you relive these memories forever.” He argued, putting the camera back to its strap. 

Zhengting looked around. Mariposa County is definitely one of the most beautiful places he's ever been in the six decades of his life. The sound of the leaves crunching underneath their feet, the steady flow of the waters in the lake, the faint rustling of trees when a breeze comes - all these made Zhengting think being alive for so long doesn't make it sound so bad.

"Kunkun, I wanna go near the lake. Let's go there." He told the other.

"Okay, but be careful. The ground is slippery on some areas." Xukun warned.

"It's fine, it's fine." 

Like Xukun said, it was indeed slippery on some parts of the forest. Zhengting lost his balance, and tried to hold onto a tall shrub for support. But said shrub had a sharp branch, which unfortunately Zhengting accidentally held on to and it lacerated the skin on his left hand. 

Xukun immediately went to him, concern all over his pretty face. "Are you alright?" He helped Zhengting sit and lean against a tree. He also checked the wound on Zhengting's left hand. "The wound is quite deep. I'll need to stitch it up, hold on."

He quickly took out their first aid kit and cursed on their lack of supplies. He compromised by using the whiskey they brought as disinfectant.

"Hold your hand up." Xukun instructed Zhengting which he followed. "This will be painful," he informed.

"I'm ready."

Zhengting wasn't actually ready but nothing will prepare him for the searing pain once the liquid touched his open wound. He has a great tolerance for pain but this one hurted enough to make him hiss. 

Xukun cleaned his wound thoroughly while Zhengting consoled himself by looking at Xukun's face when he's concentrating. He then took out the other medical supplies from the small box, and saw a needle and a thread.

Xukun started stitching his wound like a real doctor would. The pain was unbearable that Zhengting had to close his eyes shut. He did his best to steady his hand but the weird feeling of the needle piercing him and thread gliding in his skin is getting to his head. 

He grabbed the half-empty bottle of whiskey beside Xukun with his free hand and drank three big gulps straight from it. Maybe the burn in his throat would cancel out the pain in his hand. He was almost amused when he found out it's actually working so he drank more.

"There, it's done." Xukun announced and Zhengting dared to look at his hand. The stitches altogether formed a small "C".

"Thank you. Look," he showed his hand to the other, "if this heals, it would look like a letter C. Did you just sneakily marked me as your property?" He joked. 

"And if I did?" Xukun replied while he was bandaging his hand. 

"I don’t mind." Zhengting smiled. "You'll make a great doctor." 

"Is that compliment supposedly your payment for my services?" Xukun teased him back.

"Definitely not. I'm just telling you what I think."

"You can't say that when I'm actually thinking of quitting med school." 

Zhengting furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"

"I’m bored." He organized the first aid box and put it inside his bag. "I feel like it's not what I wanted to do."

Zhengting held Xukun's hand with his better one. "Then quit. Or is there something else that's holding you back?"

"I'm just too hard on myself, I guess. If I told my parents that I wanted to shift majors, I know they'd support me. But as for me, I'm already 26. I think it's too late for me to start over."

"Silly," Zhengting flicked Xukun's forehead lightly. "In two years time, you'll be 28. If you won't quit med school and continue studying it, you'd still be 28. If you quit now, and pursue something you really want, with two years of practice in, you'd still be 28. So why not just do the thing you wanted the most? Time is the same for everyone. It just depends on how we use it." Zhengting explained.

"You sound like an old man," Xukun mocked him.

“Because I am.” 

“You’re still younger than me.” Xukun ruffled his hair. 

Zhengting bit on his lip. “Hey, kiss me? I think you can distract me from my painful misery.” He wasn’t sure if he was talking about his hand or his life but it’s still applicable to both.

Xukun laughed while he shook his head as he closed the distance between them. “You’re hopeless.”

**XXIII.**

One morning, Zhengting was standing by Cai Xukun’s kitchen counter wearing nothing but Xukun’s shirt, operating the espresso machine like he owns the thing. He learned that Xukun loves coffee in the morning so Zhengting would brew him some every day without fail. He feels hands on his waist, hugging him from behind, then a kiss to his neck. He titled his head to expose more of his skin that he can kiss. He turned around so Xukun could kiss him properly. His mouth tasted like the mint of the toothpaste they are using. Zhengting hummed at how pleasant it is. He ended the kiss with a bite on Xukun’s lower lip.

“You like doing that.” Xukun whispered on his lips.

“I really love your lower lip.” Zhengting replied as he kissed it once more.

“It’ll bruise often and I would run out of excuses to tell my friends when they ask.” 

“Are you complaining?” Zhengting teasingly asked.

“No.” Xukun answered before kissing him once more, and Zhengting smiled on it.

“I made you coffee, just like how you like it.” He placed the cup on the table.

“Thank you.” Xukun took a sip, then placed it back. “Zhengzheng, are you free tonight?”

“For you, always.” Zhengting sat on the table. Xukun automatically placed himself between his legs, then he gripped his thighs. Zhengting wrapped his legs around the other’s waist.

“Meet me after work?”

“Sure. Where?"

"The playground benches. Near our favorite resto." Xukun said in between the kisses he is planting on Zhengting’s neck. 

"You're taking me out again tonight?" He ran his hands on his freshly showered hair. 

"Are you complaining?" Xukun smirked as he gave Zhengting a taste of his own medicine. 

"No." Zhengting answered, then Xukun gently pushed him on his shoulder, laying his back on the table. 

That very evening, Zhengting did find Xukun sitting on one of the playground benches. The cab that he was riding in halted a few feet away. The place was deserted, for its little patrons have long been asleep. However, it was somewhat lively because of the lights all around the plaza. The dancing fountain was alive, shining in the middle of it. Xukun’s back was facing the road, and Zhengting did not fail to notice how he kept bouncing his leg - a bad habit that he wanted him to avoid when he’s feeling nervous. He can’t help but wonder why.

“It’s a dollar and fifty, sir.” He heard the driver tell him.

“Right. Here’s two. Keep the change.” He handed the cash to the driver. He was about to get off the vehicle when he saw Xukun pull something out of his pocket. Zhengting covered his mouth in disbelief.

It was a black velvet box resting on his palm and Zhengting had a clear idea of what the content of it could be.

“Sir?” The voice of the driver snapped Zhengting back from his weariness. 

“I changed my mind. Please keep driving.” 

The cab moved once more, passing by the plaza where Xukun sat on one of its playground benches. 

Zhengting was hit by the fact that he has been selfish. He didn’t realize early enough that Cai Xukun is a man who will move on with his life. Or maybe he did, he just ignored it and drowned on the love that Xukun was giving him. Zhengting thought how cruel of a person he was. Cai Xukun has a bright future ahead of him, and Zhengting was selfish on the part where he made Xukun feel that he will stay with him forever, that what they had was everlasting, and not just a silly summer romance.

Staying is one thing that he cannot do. Loving, he just realized, is another.

He truly loved Cai Xukun even if he didn’t have a chance to say it. If he was a normal being, he would cry of happiness at the thought of Xukun proposing to him, but he was not. He was everything but normal. 

Zhengting would like to make himself believe that leaving Xukun is for the better. He has lived just fine before he even met him, he’s sure he can do that again. 

Times will change, along it will be Cai Xukun, and he will remain here.

He can move to every country on this earth, but his life will never move forward.

**XXIV.**

**_2020 - Ithaca, USA_ **

Zhengting kept tossing and turning in his sleep. The meeting with Cai Xukun made him restless. He debated if he can stay here for three more days until the party or just… leave before he can even notice anything.

He felt Wenjun put one arm on his waist, locking him in an embrace. Zhengting rested his back on Wenjun’s chest. He can’t just leave, he has Wenjun now. He can’t do the same mistake he made with Cai Xukun to Wenjun. He doesn’t deserve to be hurted like that.

“Are you okay?” Wenjun whispered to his ear.

Zhengting turned to face him, hugging him just as tight. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“It’s fine. How about you?”

“I just remembered my father. He’s really special to me.” Zhengting gave him a weak smile. In turn, Wenjun kissed his forehead.

“I’m sorry about my uncle. He’s normally not that chatty to people he just met.”

“No, he’s very lovely. Don’t worry.” Silence enveloped them once more. He could see how drowsy Wenjun is. “Go to sleep. I’ll just be outside for a bit.”

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“You don’t have to. I’ll be back later.” He pecked Wenjun’s lips. “Good night.”

Zhengting went to the backyard, wishing he wore a thicker coat. The place was vast and really quiet. On his right side, there is a flower garden, and on his left is a small play field. In front of him are just countless trees. What took Zhengting’s breath away was the winter night sky above him. It was clear, without any trace of clouds, just the stars and the moon looking down on him.

“How many stars do you think are there in our galaxy?”

Zhengting almost jumped out of fear. He saw Xukun approach him from behind. He bowed to pay respects. “I don’t know. Five hundred million.”

Xukun stood beside him. “Couple of hundred billion. Plato believed that every soul has a companion star they return to after death only if they lived a moral life.” He explained.

“Do you believe in that, Uncle?” Zhengting asked.

“No, not at all.” Xukun smiled, his laugh lines appearing. “I was a doctor, a scientist. Plato was a philosopher. However, my husband believed in that so much.” He looked at Zhengting. “He was a novelist.”

That piqued Zhengting’s interest. Xukun did get married after all. “Do I know him?”

“Wang Ziyi.”

He tried to recall the name and all the times he held every book in the library he is working in. “‘Bright Summer’, “Adventure with Me’, ‘Born Fearless’? Popular classics from the 70s. I think I own all his books.” 

“He’ll be happy to hear that.”

“Did he come here with you?”

“I wish.” Xukun looked at the starry sky once more. “He’s one of them up there.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Zhengting looked down. 

“It’s alright. I hope your father is up there, too. He and Ziyi would be friends really quick if they met.” Xukun said in a nostalgic tone.

“I loved him.” Xukun continued, then a random breeze hugged them both. Zhengting pulled his coat closer to his body, while Xukun did not even flinch. “Zhengting that is.”

Zhengting turned to his direction. He feels chills everywhere whenever Xukun mentions his name, like a prayer. 

“Many times I told Ziyi that, and he still stayed. At that time, I thought my life would never be the same without Zhengting. But then Ziyi made me realize that staying the same was not what I needed. He told me that change is inevitable, you just have to embrace it. I knew I loved him when he saw me at my worst but he still stayed. Zhengting never did that. Zhengting saw me at my best but he walked away.” Xukun laughed a bitter laugh. “I was going to propose to him, you know? But he stood me up.”

“Uncle…”

“Oh, what am I saying. You just look so much like your father that I started remembering things I didn’t know I can remember.” Xukun fixed his coat. “I’m sorry, this old man is talking nonsense. I hope you’ll enjoy the weekend. Good night.” 

“Uncle, my father... “ Zhengting swallowed the lump forming on his throat. “He loved you, too.”

Xukun just gave him a smile then walked back to the house.

Zhengting ignored how the breeze became colder.

**XXV.**

Xukun is unloading the produce from his car when Zhengting came to him the next day.

“Good morning,” the lad greeted.

“Good morning.” He replied while he continued to sort the groceries.

“Did you know where everyone went?” Zhengting asked as he looked around.

“My sister and his husband went to the market with Zeren. Wenjun is at the back cottage, he’s probably doing some vocalization. That’s where his studio is.”

“I see. Can I know where that is?”

“It’s just a few feet away from the garden. You’ll start hearing the piano then, that’s him.” Xukun explained. “Oh, you have a bug on your hair.” He noticed the ladybug that landed on Zhengting’s hair.

Zhengting bent his knees and parted his hair with his left hand. “Can you remove it for me?” 

Xukun swatted the insect away but something else caught his attention. That’s when Xukun saw it - the scar on Zhengting’s left hand.

“Did you get it?” 

“Y-yeah.”

“I’ll see you around, Uncle.” Zhengting said before he left to find Wenjun.

 _‘Impossible’_ Xukun thought. There’s no way that Theo was born with the same exact scar unless…

_"Thank you. Look," he showed his hand to the other, "if this heals, it would look like a letter C. Did you just sneakily marked me as your property?" He joked._

_"And if I did?" Xukun replied while he was bandaging his hand._

_"I don’t mind." Zhengting smiled._

Xukun ran after Zhengting as fast as his old body could take him. Zhengting has not yet walked that far from him. In order to catch his attention, with the loudest possible voice he could use, he shouted, “Zhengting!”

That call successfully made Zhengting stop. Xukun immediately ran towards him. The moment Zhengting’s face became clear to his olden vision, the first thing he told him was, “I know the truth.”

“Uncle, what are you talking about?” Xukun narrowed his eyes in slight annoyance when Zhengting tried to play dumb.

He snatched his left wrist and held it against his face. “This scar, I stitched it myself.” Xukun saw how Zhengting’s eyes started to water. “The truth… please…” he pleaded.

His shoulders started shaking. Xukun knew that’s the only confirmation he needs. When they were together, Zhengting never told him a lie, he just didn’t tell him the truth. Right now, Xukun didn’t know what to believe in. He needed to hear everything from Zhengting himself. And so here is Zhengting, looking exactly like the one he met on that evening. Still beautiful, but utterly broken.

“Kunkun…”

Xukun has only allowed two people in his life to call him with that nickname - his husband was one, the other was Zhengting.

“I thought I was losing my mind,” he said as he dropped Zhengting’s hand. “How?”

Tears fell from Zhengting’s eyes and he struggled to form the words. “I- I don’t know.” he tried to say between his gasps. He shook his head and continued, “I was- I was normal but one day I just stopped.” He violently wiped his tears with his sleeves but they never ceased falling. “I wanted to tell you so bad but I couldn’t.” He lightly grabbed Xukun’s shoulder. “You know what they’d do to me, I would’ve been… I would’ve been a---”

“A specimen. You feared that no one would treat you human,” Xukun supplied. Zhengting nodded his head. “Did you tell anyone?”

“No one,” he swallowed a sob. “If I had, it would’ve been Wenjun.”

Xukun held his arm. “Don’t disappear again. For Wenjun, please don’t run away.” Zhengting just continued to sob harder. “Free yourself, Zhengting. All this time you have had a life, but you never lived.” Zhengting pulled his arm back. “For Wenjun, please stay.” Xukun almost begged.

He thought back to all those years he spent lamenting over their relationship that could’ve been. It was the darkest part of his life until Ziyi came and rescued him out of it. Wenjun may not be his blood, but in his heart and mind, he cared for his beloved nephew. He doesn’t want Wenjun to go through the same misery.

Zhengting just shook his head. “I don’t know how,” was the last thing he told him before he ran away as fast as he could.

“Zhengting!”

**XXVI.**

When Wenjun reached the bedroom that he is sharing with Zhengting, he immediately noticed something was off. For one, it looked emptier compared to when he left while Zhengting was still sleeping. He looked around and realized that Zhengting’s luggage was nowhere to be found, and his coat hanging behind the door was gone. All he found in the neat bedroom was how some of his music sheets ended up on the bed.

He picked one up and he saw a note written all over it. 

_Wenjun, I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I can’t explain._

_\- Theo_

He immediately ran towards the front door and saw how his car was not parked in the front yard. He only saw his uncle’s car there and he tried to find the keys for it, but he couldn’t. 

“Uncle, uncle! Where are your keys?” he shouted as he tried to find his uncle instead.

He saw his uncle walk towards him. “He’s gone.”

“What?” Wenjun is confused and it makes him furious.

“He’s not coming back.” He cannot even meet Wenjun’s eyes. “He can’t explain.”

“What happened? What did you say to him?” For the first time in his life, he raised his voice on his own uncle. But Xukun seemed unfazed, like he completely understands why Wenjun is mad.

“Nothing.” Xukun said. “He just said that he’s not capable.”

“Of what?” Wenjun waited for his uncle to answer who can’t seem to find the right words.

“Of change.”

Wenjun just glared at his uncle before he ran upstairs and packed his own bags as quickly as he could. He grabbed his phone and tried calling Zhengting. It didn’t even get passed two rings before the call was dropped. He wore his coat and headed straight to the front door carrying his bag.

He saw his uncle there waiting for him but he walked past him and went to where his uncle’s car is.

Xukun suddenly asked, “Do you love him?”

Wenjun stopped on his tracks and answered without any haste. “Yes.”

“How do you know?”

“Nothing makes sense without him.”

The answer seemed to satisfy his uncle that he threw him his car keys. Wenjun caught it with ease, started the engine, and drove as fast as the speed limit will allow him.

**XXVII.**

Zhengting ran back to the house as fast as he could. He went upstairs and saw Wenjun was not back yet. For one split second, he debated if he would actually leave again.

But Xukun knew who he is. _Xukun knew who he is._ He‘s never been this careless before. He made sure to never interact with people with the same set of connections and relations but who would’ve guessed that Wenjun will turn out to be Cai Xukun’s nephew.

He needs to leave now. If he leaves now, he can still stretch his life for a few more years before people can find him. He can still take care of Minghao until his very last breath.

He needs to go.

He gathered his things and packed them in his luggage, not caring about how messy it is. He saw some blank music sheets on Wenjun’s study table, wrote a note on it, then left it where Wenjun will notice it - on his bed.

He grabbed the keys of Wenjun’s car then bolted out the front door. He started the vehicle and maneuvered it out of the cottage. He saw Xukun catch up to him, tapping on his window, pleading, “Zhengting, don’t go. Think about Wenjun.” Zhengting just ignored him. “Don’t go, please.”

Zhengting just continued driving until he couldn't catch up to him anymore.

He honestly doesn't know where he will go. Should he go back to his flat in Manhattan? Should he go to Minghao in Queens? In his supposedly new home in Reading? Or maybe he should leave America after all. He has stayed here in this country for far too long. He has enough money to sustain his life for another twenty years, he can do it. Going back to China doesn’t sound so bad. At least he can establish life there faster than usual so Minghao can be with him.

He was interrupted from his thoughts when his phone rang. With one hand on the wheel, he quickly checked who it was. It turned out to be Wenjun. He rejected the call immediately. 

Wenjun must have been the most unfortunate one in this situation. Zhengting can’t believe he let it happen again. He really thought he can stay with Wenjun forever. He really thought that he can face anything with Wenjun by his side. He really thought he can endure it once Wenjun slips out of his fingers. 

He thought everything would be fine.

His eyes were like faucets that won’t stop from watering. He has felt like this many times, being alive for so long. It’s like a punishment. He can’t understand why people wanted to live long when there’s only suffering ahead of him. He’s tired of looking at himself in the mirror, hoping that maybe he’ll go back to normal and age like how a human should.

He thought of the countless times he had run away. He thought of how Minghao shed tears for him when he’s not even worth it all. He thought of how he sacrificed a lot of things just to keep him company. He thought of how he left Cai Xukun and how he broke his heart. He thought of how he left Wenjun without saying anything. 

Maybe this is his punishment for being a cruel person. Maybe he deserved everything.

_"If someone asks where I am, just tell them that I went to Peking alone and never came back. We won't be able to see each other for a very long time." Zhengting told him in a soft voice. "Next time you see me, I'll have a new identity. I will always be your father, you'll just have to introduce me as your friend."_

_“I changed my mind. Please keep driving.”_

_The cab moved once more, passing by the plaza where Xukun sat on one of its playground benches._

_“Theo…”_

_He can’t even look at Wenjun’s eyes. “I’m sorry.” Zhengting whispered in a soft tone._

_He turned his back, and walked away with his heart and mind on rampage._

Zhu Zhengting is just so exhausted.

He stopped the car on the side of the road. He’s still driving at full speed and it’s nearing afternoon. There are no other vehicles in the highway save for very few civilian owned ones. He honestly can’t remember where he is right now, and all he can see are the concrete and trees around him. 

He wiped his tears and tried to calm himself down. Now that it has come to this, maybe it’s time for him to do something different. Maybe if he’ll do something he hadn’t before, it will throw his life off from its vicious loop for the past eight decades. Maybe he can finally break free from the endless cycle of misery that was his life.

Maybe the people around him weren't as superficial as he thought they’ll be. Maybe he’s just thinking too much about this. Maybe he can trust himself to another. He knows it.

He can trust Wenjun.

He grabbed his phone and dialled Minghao’s number that he knew by heart. 

“Hello?” Minghao’s voice on the line made him feel the tears prickling his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Haohao. Did I disturb you?” Zhengting bit his knuckles to keep himself from sobbing.

“No, it’s alright. Is everything okay, Diē?” He sensed the worry on his son’s tone. 

“Yes, I-” Zhengting sighed shallowly. “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to tell you that you’re right. No more running away.”

“Oh, Diē. I’m so glad to hear that.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? I love you, my Haohao.”

“I love you, too, Diē.”

Zhengting hung up and took deep breaths. He can do this. He’ll go back and tell Wenjun everything. If he won’t understand then it’s okay, at least Zhengting tried.

He started the engine once more and maneuvered the wheels to make a U-turn. Before he could even complete it, a speeding pick up truck crashed into the front of his vehicle. 

Zhengting can almost feel the deja vu when he felt his vision spinning as his car flipped a total of two times before landing upside down. The impact was so great that he was thrown out of it. 

He was lying on the middle of the road, eyes straight to the heavens. Now that his body is steady, his senses have caught up with the pain that he is supposed to feel - in his head, in his torso, in his limbs. He was consumed by the intensity of it but his body won’t move to even attempt alleviating some of it. He tried to lift even his finger but he failed. He just lied there staring at the darkening skies. His eyes getting heavier each passing second.

_‘Is this how I’m going to die?’_ He wanted to laugh at the idea of it but his facial muscles are not responding to his emotions. 

There is only numbness in every part of him but somehow he still has enough consciousness to tell that his heart was beating slowly like it will be gone soon. He was not aware of the blood pooling under his head or the fractured rib piercing his lungs making it harder for him to breathe on top of the very cold climate.

His vision was gradually losing focus, and the last thing that he saw was a snowflake falling from the dark sky.

For the first time in 78 years, snow fell in this part of New York. 

Zhengting just assumed that his eyes have given up and closed shut when he cannot see anything. With the absence of his vision, his ears are the only part of him that seemed to be functioning still. He can hear a number of people shouting.

“The ambulance is almost here!”

“Stay away, please. Do not crowd on the victim.”

“Theo!”

That was Wenjun’s voice. He wanted to call his name back and tell him he’s sorry and hold him to kiss him and stay with him forever but he’s unable to do all that. He just heard the weariness in his beautiful voice, like he’s on the verge of crying. His mind did this funny thing and he swore the song Wenjun sang for him in the carnival played in his head. 

_“This world has too many uncertainties_

_There will be occasional jolts in the air_

_Yet you protected me_

_So I can descend safely, yeah.”_

“Theo, wake up! Don’t close your eyes!”

He wanted to tell Wenjun to stop shouting for he might ruin his throat. He’d feel bad if he did. 

“Theo, I lov---”

Suddenly, there’s no sound anywhere. He cannot hear Wenjun anymore or any of the people around him. What did Wenjun wanted to tell him? There’s only this insistent loud ringing in his ears that he cannot pacify. 

_‘Ah, I see. This is truly the end.’_ Zhengting realized. A few seconds after that, his heart stopped beating. 

At last, at the age of 104, Zhu Zhengting is finally dead.

**XXVIII.**

The medics came right after Zhengting's body became heavier and dropped dramatically on Wenjun’s arms. They ushered Wenjun to the side and proceeded to check Zhengting’s pulse. They found none, so they took out their automated external defibrillator. They cut open Zhengting’s shirt to expose his chest, planted defibrillator pads on it, counted the prescribed five seconds then administered 750 volts of electricity in his body.

Zhengting’s unresponsive body arched at the sudden sensation, like the one lightning bolt that hit the lake he was drowning in way back 1943, the one that changed his life, the one that made him resent all the years after that, the one that made it possible for him to meet Wenjun in this lifetime.

Wenjun heard it, the loud gasp coming from Zhengting’s mouth.

Zhu Zhengting took his first breath in three minutes, his eyelids fluttering, his right index finger twitching. His eyes opened slowly trying to regain focus. The first glimpse of a picture that his mind can register was a blurry view of the sky he was staring at earlier. It was darker and there was an increase of soft white falling from it. The next thing was a bright circle blocking the view, a flashlight he assumed. Then a figure of a man kneeling next to his body. That was the only time his eyes were able to focus and see a clear image of Wenjun looking at him with tear streaks on his cheeks but with a wide smile. 

He wanted to hold his face but he doesn’t have the energy to do so. His body felt sluggish and he’s very dizzy. Maybe it’ll be gone if he takes a nap so that’s exactly what he did.

When Zhengting came to, he noticed that everything around him was white. For a few moments, he thought he had died and this was supposedly heaven save for the steady beeping of the machine next to his bed. It stinks of antiseptic everywhere and he thinks that the throbbing in his head is what will kill him for sure.

He looked around the room and saw a man sitting beside his bed while holding his right hand. He did his best to squeeze it but his strength is only enough to move his finger tapping the other’s knuckles. The movement, however, was enough to wake the sleeping figure next to him. 

Wenjun jolted awake and Zhengting just looked at him in the eyes. It’s really Wenjun looking back at him with eyes wide and his lips slightly parted. He gripped his hand tighter.

“Hi.” Zhengting said that only came out as a whisper.

“Hi.” Wenjun whispered back.

Zhengting wanted to laugh, this was his first conversation with Wenjun and he didn’t know what to say to him. 

“How long have I been out?”

“Two days.” Wenjun told him. “They called your grandfather to come. He’ll be here soon.”

Grandfather? He must’ve meant Minghao.

“Are you okay?” 

Wenjun moved to sit on the side of his bed. He rested Zhengting’s hand on his cheek then kissed it like he was making sure that he was warm and alive.

“I should be the one asking you that.” 

“Other than I’m sore all over I think I’m fine.” Zhengting ran his thumb gently on Wenjun’s left eye. “Look at your eyes. Have you been crying?”

Wenjun didn’t answer and just leaned closer to press a kiss on Zhengting’s forehead that lingered for far too long. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

Zhengting caressed Wenjun’s cheek. “I’m here. I’m sorry for leaving. I made a mistake and---”

“No, no.” Wenjun shook his head. “You keep on apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong.” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Zhengting’s. “I know why you wanted to leave.”

“You do?” Did Xukun tell Wenjun everything?

“I thought that maybe introducing you to my family was too much for you when I know we only just met. And maybe you think that I’m taking this too fast and you didn’t want that because you’re too kind to tell me.” Wenjun explained as he took a deep breath and looked at Zhengting in the eyes. “So you ran away and I thought you’ll be leaving me for good before I can even tell you how much I…” he hesitated to say the rest, as if he was picking the right words, “how much I love you.”

Zhengting’s eyes were glistening with tears as he listened to every word that Wenjun said. “Wenjun,” he started. “I love you, too.”

Wenjun’s eyes slightly widened and Zhengting saw how his smile grew bigger in each passing second. He finally smiled and his heart was finally filled with that familiar warmth.

“Say it again please.”

“I love you, Wenjun.” 

He can only meet Wenjun in the middle when he pressed a kiss on his chapped lips, and another, and another one after that. 

“There is something else.” Zhengting continued.

“What is it?”

Zhengting looked at Wenjun for the longest time debating if he will actually tell him or not. _‘It’s now or never.’_ “Well first, my name is not Theo.” He saw Wenjun’s expression change from elated to confused. “My name is Zhu Zhengting, from Anhui, China. I was born on the 18th of March of the year 1916.”

He told Wenjun everything. How he was normal, how he was married before, that he has a son, the accident that made him what he is today, that he knew Xukun from way back before, and every detail between those. Wenjun just listened to him while holding his hand, his grip tightening whenever he gets to a part of his suffering. He nodded and asked some questions when he needed to.

Every word of truth that Zhengting spoke was like a brick being lifted off his chest. He feels so much lighter and so much better being honest with the man he knew he love the most. 

They were only interrupted when the door to Zhengting’s room was opened to reveal a worried Minghao. Minghao went straight to his father. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Zhengting immediately consoled him. “Nothing, just an accident. I’m fine.” He looked at Wenjun before turning to Minghao again. “This is Wenjun, he’s the man that I’ve been telling you about.”

“Oh, um.” Minghao exclaimed. Wenjun stood to greet him. “I’m Justin, Theo’s grandfather.”

Minghao cannot read the expression on Wenjun’s face so he glanced at his father. “What? What is it?”

Zhengting smiled, “Haohao… he knows.”

Minghao looked at Wenjun once more. “He knows?” He hugged Wenjun tightly as if he had known him all his life. Wenjun returned his embrace. Minghao looked up at him when he let go of the hug. “You’re so tall.” Wenjun just laughed, seemingly lost at how he will respond. “Diē, why did you find someone taller than us?”

Zhengting just shook his head. “You’re so funny, Haohao.”

**XXIX.**

**_2021 - Manhattan, USA_ **

Inside his walk-in closet, Zhengting was fixing his necktie in front of his full body mirror when a pair of arms snaked on his waist, hugging him from behind.

“You’re gonna ruin my suit.” Zhengting warned the intruder in a playful tone.

Wenjun rested his chin on his shoulder. “Zhengting,” he whispered in his ear.

“Yes?” He asked without sparing him a glance as he checked his outfit once more. 

“Zhengting.” Wenjun repeated in a louder voice.

“Yes?” He turned around to face his lover and fixed his bowtie, Wenjun still not letting go of him.

“I love you.”

Zhengting's breathing hitched. Every time Wenjun says those three words, it sends butterflies in his stomach. 

"I love you, too."

Zhengting pulled on Wenjun’s bowtie to finish then smoothed the invisible creases on his suit. Wenjun lifted his chin and pressed his lips on his. Zhengting wrapped his arms around Wenjun’s neck in autopilot. He felt his lover's huge hand on the back of his head when Wenjun deepened the kiss. He felt all his blood rush to his face when their tongues touched. He felt Wenjun’s fingers on his necktie planning to loosen it, but Zhengting pulled away from the kiss. His breath in short gasps and his cheeks flushed pink.

“Wenjun…”

“How about we just skip this year’s New Year’s party and stay here?” Wenjun said as he nipped on Zhengting’s ear.

“We can’t do that. We promised Zhangjing and Yanjun that we’ll meet them. Plus, Minghao is waiting for us there.” Zhengting argued as he playfully pushed Wenjun away.

“I can’t wait to go home.”

“We haven’t even left yet.” Zhengting chuckled. “Ah, that reminds me. Put some food on Wubaiwan’s dish before we leave. I’ll just fix my hair real quick since you ruined it.”

“It looks alright.”

“It doesn’t.” He kissed Wenjun’s lips one more time. “Go on.”

“Fine.” 

He faced the mirror once more when Wenjun left. He ran his fingers through his bangs carefully arranging them. Then he noticed something odd.

One of the strands is not like the others, so he pulled it.

In his fingers, he saw his first grey hair. 

Zhengting smiled. “Perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> There's twenty-nine parts because in this fanfic, Zhengting is twenty-nine years old. ;)
> 
> My twitter is @8_linyanjun


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